The LOA Is On Its Way...

...back to CCAI! It arrived yesterday in their office and they Fed-Ex'd it to Kevin at work, to arrive today. We needed to sign that we accept Carson as our son, then Fed-Ex it back to them to arrive tomorrow. In typical worrier fashion, I spent the whole morning panicking, "Why isn't it here yet?" I expected it to arrive in the early morning Fed-Ex packages...nope. I called Kevin to check at noon...nope. Finally, at 2PM, while I was sitting at lunch with my friend, Katie, my cell phone rang. "It's HERE!!" Needless to say, I broke land speed records rushing to his office to sign the document!! (OK, not really, but I tried.) It really is a cool looking document, very official with the Chinese writing and English translations on it. Kevin's co-workers kept congratulating me...not sure if they knew what they were congratulating me for, but I was clearly a very happy camper and they could tell!!

My lunch companion, Katie (aka the "Underwear Cake Lady") and I used to work together and we meet every couple of months for lunch...and lots of laughs. While we were having lunch today, we marveled that this will be the last time it's just the two of us. She's due to have her first baby at the end of September, so the next time we meet at our favorite restaurant for cheeseburgers, fries, mac & cheese, and "bladder busters" of Diet Cherry Coke, we will have with us her Baby Boy in a pumpkin seat and my Little Man in a high chair! Very exciting, don't ya think??

While we still need to wait for TA (Travel Approval), it just feels so much better to know that everything is official! In fact, I'm getting sleepy right now and haven't even taken a Tylenol PM yet! I'd say that's progress, don't you think??!!

Big Sister's First Day of High School!

In all of the excitement this week of the Little Man shower and the LOA arriving, I forgot to mention another huge event in our house...Carson's big sister started HIGH SCHOOL on Monday!! Yes, my little Meggie isn't so little anymore...she's all grown up and in the 9th grade! However, traditions still remain. We still did the annual height measurement Sunday night (we always do this the night before the first day of school) -- she wasn't pleased this year because she only got about half an inch taller since last year! I also took the ever popular picture-on-the-front-porch before going to the bus stop (and I say "ever popular" in jest...Meggie HATES that I force her to do this every year!). Unfortunately, the high school bus comes CRAZY early, so this year's picture-on-the-front-porch was taken in the DARK! Yikes!

While Kevin and I are unbelievably excited to have Carson join our family, we are also crazy about his big sister! She just needs to stop getting older...'cause it's killing her Mommy!!!

YA-HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Just checked my e-mails at work before going to lunch....we got our LOA today!!!! I am SO distracted, happy, elated, verging on tears...you get the picture! Still planning on late October travel but we are now absolutely, totally, officially Carson's mommy and daddy.

Isn't life GRAND??!!!

The Little Man Shower!

The slide show has arrived!! We had SUCH a great time at our Little Man Shower!! For me, one of the best parts was during the gift opening when everyone just started asking questions...about China, about adoption, about Carson. We had such a great conversation and it was so awesome to me how INTERESTED everyone was in the process and progress of this journey we're on toward our Little Man!

I have made diaper cakes for MANY baby showers in the past, including one for my friend, Katie, who is expecting her first child (a boy!) at the end of September. Katie was teasing me that she was gonna bring an "underwear cake" to our shower. We laughed about the prospect of that...and she DID IT!!!! (Check out the photo!) The bottom layer is a container of wipes surrounded with big boy underpants, the middle layer is pull-ups around a crayon-shaped thermos, and the top is (of course) a baseball hat!! Isn't that the funniest and most creative thing you've EVER seen!!??!! What a HOOT!!!!

Don't get me wrong, I was overwhelmed with the generosity of all the gifts we received on Sunday and they were all GREATLY appreciated. Katie's gift, though, definitely required a special effort. (And, besides, the photo wouldn't go in the slide show 'cause Meggie photographed it vertically instead of horizontally -- can't seem to figure out how to flip those pictures!!)

My mom has been asking lots of questions (and clearly listening to the answers) when it comes to this adoption. At the beginning of the shower, my mom handed me a box filled with various lotions, lipsticks, perfumes and colognes (see photo) -- all to be used as gifts in China! For those who don't know, gift giving is VERY important in the Chinese culture. We are expected to bring gifts for the various officials we will deal with as well as for Carson's foster parents and the nannies who cared for him in the orphanage. The gifts don't have to be expensive and, since gift giving is such a large part of the culture, it is acceptable for them to re-gift something given to them. So, no worries if we're giving a lipstick to a man or a necktie to a woman! Anyway, based on the number of gifts we are expected to take with us, Mom has us covered!! We now have plenty of gifts (probably a few extras, actually) and one less expense for the trip. Thanks, Mom!!! You're the best!!!!

Still no LOA -- today is day 99, but I'm doing fine! I think I'm doing better with waiting beause I am feeling so grateful for the wonderful people in our lives who are helping us shower Carson with love before they even meet him!!

We are, indeed, truly blessed!

Busy, Busy, Busy...

The "Little Man Shower" yesterday was absolutely awesome! So many family and friends attended, the weather was beautiful, the food was fantastic...we are so totally grateful for the outpouring of love and support!! Many thanks go out to my sister, Debbie, and her husband, Brandon, for hosting the shower!! (Don't worry, guys, we'll pay you back with a shower for your little one in a few months!!)

Meggie started school today (9th grade, yikes!) so -- needless to say -- it has been a busy evening of filling out paperwork and purchasing supplies. While she has been busily decorating her binders and organizing her stuff, I have been working on a project for my Bachelor's degree program (due Thursday). We'll post a slide show from the shower as soon as we both get a little more caught up, I promise!

Kevin Fed-Ex'd our passports today to obtain our travel visas -- should take less than a week, we're told. Very exciting...yet very scary to mail off your passport!!! One more thing off the "to do" list!

Last night, I had another unfortunate bout of insomnia. By midnight -- when I realized I was NOT going to fall asleep soon -- it was too late to take a sleep aid and still be able to wake for work today. So I had to function at work on only four hours of sleep -- not a pretty sight!!

In an attempt to relax and get sleepy last night, I checked my Yahoo mailbox and decided to read the 50-plus e-mails waiting for me. One of them was from a woman named Lisa (yet another angel in my life) who was just at the Hefei orphanage in August, took photos, and posted them in the photos section of the Adopted From Hefei Yahoo group. Guess what?? Carson was in about half of them!!! Brought tears to my sleepy eyes! In correspondence with her today, she offered to e-mail me all the pictures she had with Carson in them -- look for a slide show of that on the blog very soon!

We're still waiting for the LOA to arrive...and my heart continues to ache for my Little Man.

Making Continuous Progress...

All of the TP2 documents have been signed, notarized, and Fed-Ex'd as of yesterday afternoon! One more thing off my "to do" list! It's funny...along with TP2 came requests for more money and we DON'T EVEN CARE!! We will be spending $350 to get our travel visas, plus I had to send our agency the Post-Adoption Fee this week. (That fee is refundable in full if we fulfill all of their requirements once we are back home with Carson. So many people get home and figure, "We have our kid, leave us alone!" However, China requires the adoption agencies to follow-up with the children who are placed and report back. As a means to have full cooperation from their families, CCAI requires a $500 fee before placement of the child, then refunds it in full if you cooperate in the follow-up home studies, etc. Yeah, we can do that!!)

Today is gonna be jam packed!! Meggie is DYING to get some new clothes for back-to-school...which starts Monday! So, we're off to schlepp around to all the local stores for the afternoon...that girl is SO PICKY when it comes to clothes!!! I have to run to the grocery for a couple of things and go to the bank for cashier's checks for the travel visas. We're also planning on visiting my sister, Nikki...she moved into a new place this week and we're going to go see it! Oh, yeah, and I have a project to work on for school, gotta fill out all of Meggie's back-to-school paperwork (emergency forms and that sort of thing), still need to pay those bills....uh-oh, I'd better stop or I'll have another meltdown in my future!!

Tomorrow we have our "Little Man Shower"...my sister, Debbie, is hosting it at her house. Thank goodness, the weather is supposed to calm a bit...these 100+ degree days are killers!! This shower will be family and a bunch of friends we haven't seen in a while. Can't wait to see everybody!! And Debbie has a Chinese-and-American-fare menu that I'm VERY excited to sample!!

Off to the races...we'll post a slide show of the shower pictures tomorrow evening!!

Feeling Overwhelmed...Just When I Need to be Productive!!

Monday brought TP2...which was great!! I rushed home from work, downloaded the packet of information...and realized I have a TON of things to do!! In TP2, there are more documents that must be signed and notarized (of course!). We also need to send our Passports off to get our Travel Visas. TP2 also gives us lots of heads-up information about the trip...giving me plenty more things to worry about!

Let's also not forget the everyday things like paying bills, doing laundry, working full-time, getting Meggie ready for back-to-school, working on my Bachelor's Degree...etc, etc, etc. Is it any wonder I can't fall asleep at night??!

Tuesday I got home from work...and had a panic attack! There were piles of gifts everywhere from our shower (now that things are "official," Meggie and Kevin are sorting through things and putting together all the toys), tons of dirty laundry, bills had to be paid, still working on the thank you notes from our shower...I got just a tad overwhelmed and freaked out! (Poor Meggie and Kevin...they did their best to keep me from total meltdown!) I went straight to my bedroom after dinner and wrote thank you notes 'til bed time. I just HAD to get something accomplished...doing a little of this and a little of that is making me feel like I'm getting nowhere FAST!

Wednesday after work, I had to buckle down. I finished the thank you notes and went through the TP2 info, filling out all the forms and organizing what needs to be notarized and what doesn't.

Today has been a whirlwind. Meggie had a doctor's appointment to get her vaccinations for travel, then we met Kevin at the bank for document signing and notarizing. Now I have to organize all the documents (keeping copies just in case...) and get them ready for Kevin to Fed-Ex tomorrow. Did I mention they want these documents back in 5-7 days?? Whew...while I'm overwhelmed, at least I'm doing SOMETHING! (Gotta look for that silver lining, right?!)

Besides, every busy day between now and Gotcha Day is a step in the right direction...the direction that heads us toward China!!

Eerie...and Wonderful!!

I just KNEW something was gonna happen today. (After all, Carson told me in my dream, right?!) I even wore my "Hello Kitty" Asian-inspired scrub top to work today for good mo-jo! I got an e-mail at 2:30 this afternoon (although I didn't see it 'til 3:10) that we can download Travel Packet 2!!! YEAH!! I screamed like a loon and skipped around the department for a while -- yeah, I looked a little nutty, but who cares?! -- and got LOTS of hugs from co-workers! Good day, indeed!!

For those who have forgotten, getting TP2 means our dossier has been moved into the Match Room and our LOA will be coming in the next seven days or so! We still won't be traveling in September, but at least we are getting OFFICIAL NEWS!!

I just KNEW Carson was right in my dream this weekend...it WILL be fine!!!

Weird Dream...Good Omen??

Last night...well, actually, this morning just before waking for work at the horrible hour of 4:45 a.m...I had a very weird dream. In the dream, I had gone to CCAI (our adoption agency, which is nowhere NEAR our home state!) and it was Match Day! There were couples all over the building in cubicles and CCAI staff members were handing out babies to everybody there...even a set of male twins! After I got to the last cubicle (where the twins were), I saw Carson walking down the hallway...and he recognized me!! He happily walked right up to me. I crouched down to get at his eye level and he put his hands on my face and started kissing me softly on the cheek. He kept repeating, "It will be fine, Mama. It will be fine." He said that about three times...and the alarm went off and WOKE ME UP!!! AAAACCCCKKKK!!! I REALLY wanted to go back to the dream and kiss his little cheeks...but, no, I had to get up and go to work. =(

While this dream was bizarre for many reasons -- especially the fact that CCAI staff members were handing out babies like they were door prizes and also that Carson not only recognized me but spoke perfect English -- I still choose to believe that Carson is correct.

It will be fine...our LOA has GOT to be coming this week!!!!!

Day 88, Not Doing So Great...

We were told the wait for the LOA would be around 90 days. Today is day 88. Needless to say, I'm not a very happy camper! Not only am I having trouble sleeping lately (requiring Tylenol PM to even FALL asleep these days), but last night my bum knee swelled up and I had to limp around work today dragging it behind me...it won't bend!! AARRGGGHHH!!!

I will say, though, that the support from my family, friends, and co-workers really is getting me through. I get asked multiple times a day if we got "the letter" yet...used to make me sad, but really it means people care enough to ask. I think that's AWESOME! It's also pretty cool that lots of people in my circle of support are learning the lingo. My friend, Sarah, and I were talking the other day about the adoption wait and she used the words "match" and "referral"...made me smile! My friend, Katie, asked for more details on the "Letter of Acceptance"...not just "the letter," she knew what it was called. This may sound minor, but to me it means people are actually LISTENING as I drone on endlessly about this adoption. That really does mean so much to me!

Funny story, though...this week I've gotten congratulations from a few people at work on getting "the letter." I smile and respond, "No, you heard wrong, no letter yet." It finally occurred to me this afternoon why they think this...the schedule for November has me off on leave (wishful thinking?!) and, instead of listing my hours, it says "LOA" -- for Leave of Absence. However, those who are learning the lingo thought it meant Letter of Acceptance!! If only!!

Oh, well, time to put my bum leg up on some pillows and try to get rid of this swelling. Here's praying for some good news next week...

P.S. By the way, if you would like to subscribe to the blog (upper left of the page), all you do is put in your e-mail address and follow the directions. You will get an e-mail from FeedBlitz confirming that you subscribed (you need to click on a link in that e-mail), then you will get an e-mail any day that the blog is updated. This will not cost you anything, I promise! Also, if you would like to comment on the blog, all you need to do is put in your e-mail address on the comments screen and create a password...doesn't need to be a Google account.

Shower Pictures!!

I Really Thought I Was Managing My Stress Better Than This...

We had a busy day yesterday...visiting the daycare and enjoying our first shower...and lemme tell you, it put me over the edge!!

First of all, the daycare was WONDERFUL! As we pulled up to the Open House, it occurred to me that a Christian daycare center situated just outside a beautiful new subdivision really ought to be completely full of kids, with no openings. When we met the Director of the Preschool Program, that suspicion was confirmed...they have no openings in the four-year-old class! To say I was crushed would truly be an understatement!! After discussing the situation further, they started a waiting list (at least we're at the top!) and one of the teachers confided that she would not be surprised if there was at least one opening by January -- between people moving away and the kids who are 4 1/2 yrs old now being moved up to the five-year-old room after Christmas, she thinks we'll get in. Guess I'll keep looking for a backup in case that doesn't happen. Yikes.

The shower was SO nice yesterday -- Meggie is out having fun this afternoon, but we'll post a slide show of the pictures later tonight -- and I must admit I came home completely overwhelmed!! Besides the five Rubbermaid tubs full of clothes that our dear friends, Tim and Wendy, gave us Friday night (the contents of which Meggie has strewn all about our computer room and decided to organize with her friend Sarah's help -- see photo), I now have a pile of awesome gifts in the family room that I am afraid to open! See, until we get the LOA, Carson's adoption really isn't OFFICIAL. So, until we get the LOA, no toddler boy clothes will be washed, no toys will be unpacked, no gift cards will be spent -- just can't jinx it, ya know?!

I went to bed about 11:30 p.m. last night -- brain still swimming with adoption stuff -- and only slept for two hours. At 1:30 a.m. I was WIDE AWAKE! Not wanting to wake Kevin, I went downstairs to watch TV, hoping to get sleepy. By 5:30 a.m., I was still WIDE AWAKE!! (I ended up taking two Tylenol PMs to finally get some sleep, then of course slept right through Church this morning!) The only thing I could figure from this quite-unlike-me bout of insomnia is that my brain is just over-stressed!!

And I really felt like I was doing OK...

Busy Day Ahead of Us...

This evening, we have our first Adoption Shower! Originally scheduled to be at a park with entire families, the current 99 degree heat wave and accompanying heat advisory has forced us indoors. So, the shower will just be the girls instead at my friend Nikki's house. Meggie and I are REALLY looking forward to a fun evening...we'll post pictures tomorrow!!

Also, ever the anticipatory worrier, I have been working on daycare arrangements for Carson. (Hey, at least I'm doing SOMETHING...makes me feel way less powerless with the waiting, ya know?!) It's so funny how things are happening, though. A friend at Church, Emily, has a daycare and e-mailed me a few weeks ago that she suddenly has openings! I went and visited her to gather info -- however, it looks like it might not work out. I'm really trying to find someone in our neighborhood for convenience sake...that's not looking very promising, either.

At work on Thursday, I had the opportunity to work with a girl I've only marginally met in the past (I was pulled to a smaller division of our department to help out). While we worked together, it came out that she has a nearly four-year-old son and she LOVES his daycare arrangement. It is right around the corner from our subdivision, in a Christian church, and they are having an Open House today!! So, Kevin, Meggie and I are going to pop in for a visit and see if this is the answer to prayers! (One of the best things: this place provides before school and after school care, with transportation offered to the local elementary schools -- this would be a long-term solution even when he starts regular school!)

Look for pictures of the shower and a daycare update tomorrow...

Gifts, Gifts, and More Gifts...

As promised, at left is a picture of the seriously generous gift we got from Donna. I actually tried to count how many books are in this assortment...I wasn't even halfway through the books, my eyes were crossing, and I had counted over 100 books...and a great array of awesome books are in there!! (There was also a backpack and Ernie doll...both have already taken up residence in Carson's bedroom.) Donna is a serious book-a-holic (by her own admission) and I know how much she loves collecting books for her own son. We REALLY appreciate that she was willing to part with so many of the books in her clearly wonderful collection! Meggie and I were talking last night about the pink backpack in the pictures Pam took in July and how Carson probably doesn't even have his own belongings at the foster home. How awesome for him to come here and have his own library waiting!! Thanks so much, Donna!!

Especially since our "holding pattern" seems to be lengthening...which I'm dealing with pretty well, I might add...Meggie and I decided to DO something. So, I went to Target and registered for more stuff for our upcoming showers...our list was kinda small before yesterday so I beefed it up a bit on my way home from work. Meggie -- ever the crafty young lady -- decided she wanted to do another "Carson project." We sent the photos Pam took of Carson in July through Snapfish and got prints of all six poses. Then Meggie created this framed scrapbook page...the background is a very manly "Cars and Sports" theme. We also added a little explanation at the bottom of when and where the photos were taken. Don't you just LOVE it??!! We're still deciding where to hang it in the house...can't stop staring at it for now!

After Meggie made Carson's blanket last Sunday, she decided she wanted to make blankets for all of us. She and Kevin went shopping and she picked fleece fabrics that suited each of us. She won't let us have the blankets yet, though...she said we'll get them at the "Little Man Shower" at the end of August and not a minute sooner. (The picture here is of her putting finishing touches on Kevin's blanket.) Meggie's plan was for us to take the blankets to China...she's sure the airplane will be cold...and I was thinking that carrying a fleece blanket in the summer heat would probably push me over the edge. At this point -- with potential travel dates in late October or early November -- blankets might just be a necessary item to stuff in the carry-ons.

Our first shower is this coming Saturday and I'm still trying to focus more on the fun and preparations and less on how much my heart is aching to hug that adorable Little Man of ours...

Wait 'Til You See This...

Two weeks ago, we got a seriously generous gift for Carson from my friend, Donna, at Church. We'll post pictures this weekend...wait 'til you see...

I Said I Wouldn't Do It...But I Did It Anyway!

I tried to be strong. I promised myself I wouldn't bother those poor overworked souls at CCAI with my silly questions. I anxiously watched the Yahoo posts hoping someone else had the answer I was looking for. Then I broke down...

I e-mailed CCAI yesterday to see if there had been any news from China that our dossier was being held in the Review Room. I just REALLY expected to hear something this week or last and, so far, NOTHING!! The thought that we WON'T get moved into the Match Room has been keeping me up at night. (A seriously ridiculous idea, but it's still keeping me up at night.) In the e-mail, I apologized for bugging them and thanked them for everything they do for the families -- figured a little sweetness couldn't hurt!

Sarah from CCAI responded a little over two hours later and was SO SWEET, insisting I wasn't bugging them and thanking me for e-mailing!! I got the following response:

"There is no reason to think there is anything wrong with your dossier. Usually families move into the Match Room between 2 and 3 months from LOI, so we're still well within that timeframe. If there's a question on the dossier, the CCAA would tell us, so no news is good news! :)"

By the way, the CCAA is the China Center for Adoption Affairs, the Chinese governmental agency that oversees international adoptions.

Guess that should calm me down, huh?! Yeah, right! She also mentioned that traveling in October is "tricky," so we are probably looking at early November for travel unless the LOA shows up early next week.

You know what? I'm gonna be OK with that. Of course I want to go get Carson, like, NOW...but there's nothing we can do to make that happen. So we'll just send another care package, say a few more prayers for his safety and happiness, and give ourselves enough time to pack and prepare properly for this trip.

How's that for the improved outlook I've been working on? You really SHOULD be impressed...

Potentially Bad News...but a Better Outlook!

I got an e-mail today from Kate, another Yahoo group friend who is on track to potentially travel to China with us. (We have very close LOI and PA dates and are going to the same province to get our children.) In that e-mail, she told me her husband talked to Sarah at CCAI today, who told him that if they don't hear about their LOA this week then they will probably travel in November. Yikes!

For those who don't know, the first week of October is a national holiday in China, so all government offices will be closed -- meaning no Consulate appointments could be scheduled. The third and fourth weeks of October, China hosts an international trade fair and, apparently, if we were able to FIND a room, we would pay sky-high rates for it! Looks like we're in the same boat as Kate and her husband...if we don't travel by mid September, we are sort of on hold until early November.

I'm trying to stay positive...we would have more money saved, more time to prepare, more time for me to accumulate vacation for my maternity leave. However, I'm also realistic... every updated picture I see of Carson, he keeps changing. He's growing up without us and that just breaks my heart! I want to squeeze those chubby cheeks before he loses them!!!!

On Sunday at Church, I had a brief conversation with my friend, Valerie. She must have gathered from the conversation that I am getting a little depressed with the whole mess of waiting because she sent me the following e-mail Monday (reprinted here with her permission):

Subject: No reply, just pray!!!

"Dear Heavenly Father,

This family has poured their hearts and souls into this little boy before ever getting a chance to see him in person. Lord, we thank you for their ability to love Carson with this unconditional love! At this time, their hearts are growing heavy with worry and fear. They have waited so long to be blessed with an addition to their sweet family. Lord, today we are asking you to give the family patience and hope as they wait for the final details of this adoption. We know that we can do all things through YOU who strengthens us. However, sometimes we feel as though we cannot wait another second for things we are waiting for. Please place this LOA paperwork into the palm of your hands. Deliver it swiftly and safely very soon. Thank you for all you have done for us! In Christ's name we pray, Amen."

After I cried -- been doing a LOT of that lately -- I e-mailed Val back thanking her for reminding me that this IS in God's hands now.

Thanking God for good friends with great advice...and working on a more positive outlook...